


Of Beasts and Battles

by orphan_account



Category: A Court of Thorns and Roses Series - Sarah J. Maas
Genre: Canon Divergence, F/M, Feysand pregnancy, Gen, feysand family
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-10
Updated: 2020-11-17
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:27:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 14,072
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27494206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Feyre has been acting as a spy in the spring court and has discovered Tamlin’s plans to attack the night court, unexpected news doesn’t help her focus. Can she do it all or will her mission end in tragedy? Rhysand has waited a long time to repay Tamlin for his cruelty to his family will he finally get the chance? Lucian knows when a fox is in a hen house, but for the first time he finds himself questioning his loyalty to Tamlin. Basically the story I’ve always wanted to write about Tamlin getting tag-teamed by Feyre and Rhysand.
Relationships: Elain Archeron/Lucien Vanserra, Feyre Archeron/Rhysand, Nesta Archeron/Cassian
Comments: 8
Kudos: 33





	1. Chapter 1

The few months I Had spent in the night court had been torture. Being away from my mate had been poisonous, at least to me. I could feel my body and my mind revering back to its original broken state. It had only taken a few days for the nightmares to return sapping my soul of strength sending my body into nauseous fits on a nightly basis.

Instead of being ignored however someone would always come in usually Tamlin, he would come in hoping that he could fix everything, fix me, without realizing that I wasn’t the thing that was broken and that his presence only made my body want to revolt against itself even more. Sometimes it was a night maid or Alis, but I never got the solitude I so desperately craved. Because of this Tamlin continued to keep me insufferably close.My room was right across the hallway from his, no longer in the guest quarters. It was just one more reasons to raze his court to the ground when the time came.

When I was being watched there wasn’t much I could do to gather information about Tamlin’s plans with Hybern, but I would head down to the library with Alis to find a book. Usually it was something about the history, politics or trade of pryithian and its courts. I figured as a High Lady I should at least know some of these things and while I knew Rhysand would teach me I felt obligated to do as much as I could on my own.

I had never received a formal education the closest thing to it had been Rhys teaching me to read. Which now that I could had become an invaluable skill and I couldn’t help but feeling a little resentment at my sisters or father for never taking the time to teach me.

I had considered painting and while I would still dabble here and there it was mostly for Tamlin’s benefit. It was just another piece in my disguise, a sign that I was happy and healing.

For now I just had to get through dinner, that should be easy considering I had been able to effectively avoid everyone for the day and all I had to do was sit, listen and a wait for someone to slip up. Sometimes if the timing was right I could ask seemingly innocent questions about the plans the Hybern had for me. Despite the simplicity it felt like a whole different set of warfare. Playing a part in order to get the information knowing that if anyone sensed anything was off I could raise some serious alarms that would leave me with more guards and less freedom making my job as a spy a whole lot harder.

I smooth out the invisible wrinkles in my ridiculously frilly dress. It was all tule, with a high neckline and a suffocating waist, but it did hold the benefit of making me look young and innocent. Icheck my smile in the mirror its a perfect mask to cover up the rage that boils beneath my skin.

I go into the bathroom and close the door and turn on the faucet to drown out any noise. I concentrate for a moment harnessing the emotions that coursed through me and focused on the fire that coursed through my blood. In a moment my hands were ablaze. The flame was a living manifestation of the emotions that roiled within me. I have to be careful not to let the flame get out of hand, but I stand there for a moment and just admire the flames as I let them dance across my fingertips. The color of the fire changes from bright yellows to purple and even green depending on my whim.

When I finish I make sure to sweep out the smoke with a gust of wind so that I don’t rouse any suspicion. Despite it being fairly simple magic I feel drained of energy. Which is odd considering I felt ready to burst only a few moments ago.

I pause a moment when I feel Rhys run his claw gently against my mental shields, letting me know that no matter what he was there with me and that he’s there if I should need him, that he loves me. I can’t help but smile to myself as I send my love down the bond to assure him that I feel his presence. I was grateful for the small gift he had given me, a moments respite and a reminder of what and who I was doing all of this for. There were still days that it all felt impossibly difficult, but I wouldn’t let those days win.

Dinner was always an emotional climax for my day. I always felt weary after studying or painting it all felt like work and the last thing that I wanted to do was play dress up for Tamlin while at the same time acting as a double agent for Rhysand. With that happy thought I turn myself to the door and focus on the task at hand. All I have to do right now isget through dinner, I reassure myself.

As if on cue there is a knock on the door and Tamlin pokes his head through the door. He smiles when he sees the ensemble that Alis picked out. The frilly pink tulle gown that wasn’t revealing in any way. Which was just fine with me I had no desire to flaunt my assets in this court and especially not for Tamlin. It had a high neckline and long sleeves. I was the vision of innocence and the facade worked perfectly so far. It accentuated my waist making it look tiny. The gown was a perfect weapon. I had to refrain. From tugging on the pearl checker that I was wearing. It felt too much like a collar and I made a mental note to never wear it again.

Tamlin’s eyes roam over my body and I had to hide my clenched fist in my skirt in order to keep myself from giving him a black eye prematurely. It was a daily struggle, but so far I had maintained self control. Though I had hinted that Ianthe’s face would probably meet my fist next time I saw her. Tamlin had simply laughed nervously when I had said something to that effect out loud, but the next day I found myself with an extra guard and a gift of a new set of emerald jewelry. Talk about mixed signals.

He beams at me, his perfect bride. He leans forward and I freeze hoping that I don’t have to fight off any advances. When he had first tried to make any physical advances I had pushed him away claiming that it was just too painful, but after a few weeks I had to relent to letting him hold my hand otherwise he would have gotten suspicious.

“You look lovely Feyre” he murmurs in my ear. After to months of being in the spring court I was in no way comfortable or well adjusted to being around Tamlin and I couldn’t help but compare him to Rhys in the fact that I had felt more at home with him and in Velaris than I had at any other point in my life. The more I compared the two men the more I found Tamlin lacking andfound myself wondering how in the hell did I fall for him in the first place

His comment send shivers down my spine, but not the good kind. It is unnerving to have him so close to me. It’s feels like a violation and anger and fear courses through me leaving my cheeks flushed, but to Tamlin all he sees is a pretty blush that he sees as an invitation to continue further and he goes to kiss my cheek and for the sake of keeping his confidences I let him. He offers his arm and I take it and he leads the way down to dinner. 

In the dining room Lucian is already sitting waiting for us. He glares at me as Tamlin pulls out a seat for me and I sit down and give Lucian a lazy smile. When he is sure that Tamlin isn’t looking he shoots a glare at me from across the table that only makes me smile more brightly. At least Lucien has the sense to not trust me even if Tamlin is being dense. I often wonder how much Lucian thinks that he knows. I could only hope that his desperation for Elain was strong enough to keep him from telling his master. Tamlin catches me smiling at Lucien and gives me a perplexed look that I simply shrug it off which will drive Tamlin crazy. Hopefully he will approach Lucian about it later. Let Lucien try to explain himself to Tam. There is an awkward lull in the conversation as the food is served and Tamlin tries starting a conversation.

“So, Ianthe will be visiting the court in the following weeks. She made the suggestion that perhaps a banquet was in order to celebrate your return.” Tamlin remarks.

I pause, the thought of planning parties and playing dress up with Ianthe made bile rise in my throat and at this point it was frankly insulting. The thought that Tamlin expected me to play nice with Ianthe after what she did to my sisters was revolting.

Rhysand must have thought that something was off because I could fell him checking to make sure I was okay. I couldn’t blame him for wanting to make sure that I stayed safe. The longer I was away from him the more nervous we both got. I had checked on the bond multiple times through the day as well just to ease my nerves. The aching in my chest seemed to increase the longer we have been apart.

I shove my hands under the table so that Tamlin cannot see me digging my nails into the palms of my hands as I clench my fists in an effort to control the fiery anger that courses through my veins. It still doesn’t help and I know that I have left burn marks on the underside of the table. Not to mention, with Hybern occupying the spring court there was really no reason to celebrate. There isn’t much I can say that could change Tamlin’s mind. So, I decide that the wisest course of action at this point would be to just play along maybe one of them will slip up and say something.

“I think that a banquet would be lovely, however the idea of having Ianthe return is is absolutely abhorrent.” I retort frustratedly her presence would make my job harder. Ianthe was a snake, but I felt that if anyone would foil my cover it was her. What would be worse if she found out anything and was somehow able to use the information to try to blackmail me.

Tamlin carefully sets down his silverware in a calculated move to give himself time to control his barely concealed rage. While Lucian is not even trying to hide his savage delight as I have thrown my self in front of Tamlin temper. Tamlin’s temper was both a pro and a con in my plan to overthrow the spring court. While his anger was very predictable it didn't help in matters of gaining his trust. 

“Feyre, Ianthe has apologized, she is our ally and friend and you cannot avoid her forever.” Tamlin tries to reason. Not that his opinion mattered in the first place. 

“She is the reason my sisters are hostage in the night court!” I huff. I have to be careful. I know that challenging Tamlin to his face could be a risky move, but if I chose my words wisely I could tie a rope around Tamlin’s neck and lead him and his court to the slaughter whiteout him being and the wiser.

Tamlin’s expression softens a fraction. I know, and we will get them back I swear it. I hated it when he looked at me like that. When you could see how he pitied me. Like I was still so naive or that somehow he was the hero for stealing me from my family and my mate.

But I only look down as if trying to avoid his gaze that I would bow before him like all of his subjects. “its just, you don’t know what its like. They twist your mind in ways that you can barely remember who you are let alone the people you love.”

Tamlins expression darkens. It was an expression I was used to and if I played my cards right I could get him to spill some information. I know that Rhys can take care of himself but I always hate to use his name in such a fowl way. I wouldn’t if there was any other way to keep Tamlin at bay in the night.

“Rhysand will not get away with this I swear it.” Tamlin resolves to me and probably to himself.

I nod, to me it’s just more empty promises. “But how are we going to get my sisters back? Cauldron only knows what his Illyrians have done to them already.”

Tamlin sighs, “I didn’t want to tell you because I didn’t want to get your hopes up, but I think that you should know that Lucien and I along with some of Hybern’s men plan on infiltrating the night court in order to get your sisters back and perhaps even retrieve the Book of Breathings that he stole from Tarquin.”

This was too perfect. Everything I needed to bring down Tamlin had fallen into my lap. Why put in the effort of destroying him when his own plans can backfire so magnificently.

It was too easy, and I had to keep myself from laughing out loud. Instead I would let him see only fear for his safety and gratitude for his benevolence.

“Tamlin please be careful, the last thing I would want if for him to to kill or imprison you.” I lie through my teeth.

Tamlin simply smiles and looks down the table at me as if my concern for his wellbeingis cute to him.“You need not worry for me Feyre, Hybern has supplied us with bloodbane that will make itan easy victory for the spring court.”

The name of the poison makes me temporarily panic. How could the Night court win if I wasn’t there to provide a cure? But I simply nod and accept Tamlins consoling, pretending to be satisfied and I go back to eating my meal in relative peace.

The rest of the conversation and the food were both bland and I didn’t have the stomach to put up with either of them so I simply dismissed myself not even having to lie about the bone deep fatigue that had claimed me.

I excuse myself for bed and I make my way upstairs. The hallways are dark and empty the majority of the staff have gone home for the night. Leaving only the few that lived in the manor to tend the night shift. 

I creep through the hall, listening for the sounds of anyone who might be coming. I pass my bedroom and make my way to Tamlin’s study. Hopefully I could find the plans that Hybern may have to infiltrate the night court I needed the specifics especially for the Bloodbane, though I doubt that Hybern would trust Tamlin with them.At this point tamlin was a liability for both sides. Even I knew that. I shake the doorknob of Tamlin’s study only to find it locked. I can sense the wards that are in place around the study. Apparently he’s upgraded his security measures. That definitely meant he was hiding something.

I had tried to sneak into Tamlin’s study before and while getting past wards and locks were easy I always had a hard time with the sentries who would patrol the hallway and pass by every few minutes.

I waited for the sentry to turn a corner before I made a mad dash to the door of the study as quietly as I could. I sliced through the wards with half a thought thou I had trouble containing the light cast by the magic. Then I pulled a sharp hairpin out from my updo and began to fiddle with the lock I was able to get inside after 30 seconds of trying. I was quite pleased with myself. I had been practicing on my own with the bedroom door.

I slip inside the study and make a beeline for tamlins desk I take out the small pad of paper I keep in my corset and start to skim some of the papers searching for any clues to the attack and the amount of troops hybern has strategies he might employ or the location of any reserves of weapons and rations and where the might be kept.

I am able to find a few numbers on the amount of Bloodbane that Hybern is planing on using and it was enough to cause considerable damage to a legion of Illyrian soldiers. I had to get this information to Rhys so they could properly prepare for the attack. I write down as much as possible but my hands are shaking badly and it’s makes my letters sloppier than usual and even I could hardly read my own handwriting.

Then I hear the sound of someone coming up the stairs alerts me that it’s time to flee. I scramble as I collect my notepad and pen. I try not to knock anything over as I hastily try to cover up any sign that I had been in the study. I set the wards back up and lock the door again, but before I do I make sure that the sentry isn’t coming down the hallway. I am able to easily I winnow into my bedroom and shed my dress for a long modest nightgown and quickly climb into bed and pretend to be asleep.

A few moments later Tamlin silently opens the door. He stands in the doorway just watching me. I fight to keep my nerves in check and my breathing even, pretending to still be asleep. After a few moments he finally leaves and it is only a moment before Lucian pops his head through the door. Only Lucian is smarter than Tamlin and he senses that I’m not asleep. He only snorts “faker” before closing the door and leaving me alone.

I don’t really know how deep the comment was meant to cut but I don’t care. There is no way that he could possibly understand, that whatever deceit I resort to is only to protect my family, my court and my mate. I lie in bed hoping sleep will claim me because I’m exhausted but sleep doesn’t come and when it does it isn’t very restful.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s not that long of a chapter, if you are worried about wasting your time reading it then you need to take up a different ent hobby than reading fan fiction. This should take you max 10 minutes

The next morning Alis comes in to wake me up. I notice right away that I am feeling a little off. Nothing major I’m just tired and a little dizzy. Alis helps me dress before I head downstairs for breakfast.  
Lucian and Tamlin are already there, their conversation stops before I get close enough to hear what they are saying. I greet them both politely and seat myself. I don’t really listen to their conversation. My head starts pounding and pain sears my forehead. I feel Rhys at the end of the bond alerted by my pain.  
“ _Feyre are you okay_?” I feel his concern radiate down the the bond, his presence calming me.  
“ _Yeah, I’m fine_.” I send back down the bond. Hoping to console him.  
At this point I notice that Tamlin and Lucian are staring at me.  
“Feyre are you alright?” Tamlin asks. He sounds genuinely considered.  
I nod despite the ringing in my ears and my brain going fuzzy. “ I’ll be fine I think that I just need to lay down” I say. “I’m not feeling very well.”  
“You look as pale as the dead Feyre, let me help you to your room,” Tamlin suggests.  
I’m not really paying attention at this point. The ringing in my ears is getting louder and I am starting to see black splotches.  
I feel hands help me up out of my seat, I’m pretty sure it’s Lucian, before everything goes black.  
I wake up though I don’t open my eyes yet and I can tell I’m laying in my bed. My head is still pounding. I feel Rhys running a smooth claw around the edge of my unprotected mind sensing my distress but not wanting to panic for my sake.  
“ _I’m okay Rhys I was just dizzy that’s all. I probably am just a little sick_ ” I say.  
“ _Feyre_ ,” he replies with relief. “ _Please take care of yourself._ ” He pleas.  
 _“I am. No need to be such an overbearing mother hen.”_ I retort.  
“ _Feyre, just say the word and we will get you out of there._ ” He says in a measured tone.  
I know that the last impression he would want to give is that I couldn’t do it.  
“ _I know hopefully not too much longer. I love you,”_ I assure him. Hoping to give him some peace of mind even though I could not yet leave.  
I can feel Rhys sigh in resignation. “ _I love you too,”_ he replies and the bond goes silent.  
The few moments with my mate, even if it was just through the bond was refreshing and it gives me the strength face whatever obstacles I have to face in the spring court.  
I open my eyes and to my relief no one is there. I don’t really want to move yet with my headache, though that was just the excuse.  
Alis peeks her head in to see if I am awake. She sees me and she lets herself in. She is carrying a small basket of supplies probably just basic healing potions and what not.  
“Lady feyre Tamlin has sent for a healer who should be arriving shortly.” She whispers trying not to disturb me greatly.  
“That really isn’t necessary,” I argue “I’ll be fine I just need a little rest and maybe something for this headache.”  
“Nevertheless the High Lord has made it very clear that you are to be looked after until he returns.”  
I am slightly curious as to where he has gone, but I decide not to worry too much about it. I can ask him about it later. For now it just feels nice for Alis to take care of me.  
She opens a small bottle and dabs the contents on a wet cloth and gently begins dabbing my forehead.  
I sigh in resignation, I didn’t have the energy to argue with Alis so I let her place a cool cloth on my head.  
It does’t take very long for the healer to arrive maybe only half an hour. The healer whisks in, an unusually perky female with a large black bag hanging from her arm.  
“I’m Sylvia, and I must say it is an absolute honor to meet you Lady Feyre though I imagine the in your circumstances you probably wouldn’t say the same” Sylvia introduces herself though her mouth moves at about a million words per minute.  
“Your fine,” I smile. “Thank you for being so accommodating on such a short notice.”  
“Its no trouble at all,” she assures me, “if you would like some privacy and then our examination can begin.”  
I look to Alis and nod. She takes my cue to leave “I’ll be right outside M’lady, should you need anything.”  
“I’ll call for you if needed,” I assure her. There really was no need to worry was there? Though I hadn’t heard of fae being sick very often.  
I change into a silk robe for the healer, and sit down at the edge of the bed. The healer begins her examination asking the usual questions like when I had my last cycle and what my usual diet and activity consisted of.  
The healer took my wrist to feel my pulse and checked for signs of a fever. She asked about the symptoms that I was experiencing before having me lay down on the bed and rubbing her hands together to warm them. Then she gently prodded my stomach and sides. She paused for a moment when her hand probed just above the navel. She sat there just listening for a moment.  
Her face was unreadable as she finished. The fact that I couldn’t tell what she was thinking was driving me almost to the point that I wanted to take a peak into her mind just to know.  
“First off m’lady, you are terribly dehydrated. I insist that you drink more water.” The healer states her face stone cold.  
“What’s second?” I ask a little suspiciously. Not letting go of the knot that is forming in my stomach just yet.  
“M’lady its the most wonderful news you are pregnant!” She beams.  
I stare at the healer, not quite sure what to say or how to feel. “Are you sure?” I ask hesitantly.  
“Positive, your highness.” she smiles it is a very rare day indeed when a high court lady is blessed with a child.  
I try to smile at her. This was supposed to be a happy thing, but to me a mixture of emotions runs through me. At first confusion Rhys and I had been so carful. I glanced at the healer. Was there any way that she might suspect that it was Rhysand’s child that I carried?  
Carefully I probe the edge of her mind I sense a slight suspicion which I am subtly able to put at ease. I let out a sigh of relief and let myself feel for a moment the joy of the idea that I would have Rhys’ baby, that we would be the family we both had yearned for growing up.  
Then the horrifying realization that we were in a war and that I was in the spring court settled over me. If anyone found out that I was carrying Rhysand’s child both Rhys and I would have a target on our backs, not that we didn’t already.  
“My lady,” the healer says, hesitantly interrupting my thoughts, “shall I go fetch the high lord?”  
“No, I want to tell him” I smile. Last thing I want to do is alert the healer that something might be off.  
The healer only nods obviously this was normal for most females. The healer gets up to leave and as an afterthought  
I stop the healer “You can’t tell anyone, if the night court found out...”I shutter and let the horror that I hold a at bay in my mind run rampant for a moment letting my thoughts bring the smell of fear along with them. The healer seems to catch my meaning.  
“Of course my lady, I understand.” The healer nods fear now very visible in her eyes.  
For a moment I pity the fae who believes so naively that Rhys would ever do anything that would hurt me or any innocent for that matter.  
“Is there any type of tonic I could take that could help me manage my symptoms?” I inquire, “hopefully something that can help me to be able to function in a normal capacity.”  
“Of course,” the healer replies as she opens her bag and hands me a bottle.  
“This should help feel free to send for me again if you continue to feel ill my lady.” The healer smiles again. “And may I be the first to offer my congratulations to you and the High Lord” “Thank you.” I gush and then politely dismiss her.  
When the healer leaves there is a knock at the door. Alis steps in. She is immediately able to tell something is off and the the appointment with the healer did not go as I had expected. So she closes the door behind her and locks it.  
The emotions that I had been holding back finally overwhelms me as heaping sobs rack by body as I cry into my hands and Alis does something so unexpected. She wraps me up in a warm hug, the kind I imagine a mother would give to a child. So I let her hold me as she gently stokes my hair from my face.  
My breath shutters as I try to reign in my emotion, I take deep breaths to calm myself, because I can feel Rhys begging for entrance into my mind.  
Not knowing what is happening must be driving him crazy. I decide that we need to meet up not to just talk about the baby but also to inform him of the attack that Tamlin has planned for the spring court. So I send him only a few sentences down the bond. Just enough so that I can alert him that we will talk soon enough.  
“ _Meet me at the edge of autumn and spring at midnight. We need to talk.”_  
I can feel Rhys start to relent which allows me to focus more on what’s in front of me.  
Alis is still stroking my hair when I finally straighten up and dab my eyes with a handkerchief that Alis had handed to me at some point.  
“You don’t have to tell me anything” Alis begins. I could tell she was a little nervous, but I knew that I could trust her.  
“No, I sniffle I want to tell you, but you have to promise that you wont tell a soul.” I plead with her  
Alis considers only moment before agreeing. And a thin band appears tattooed on her left wrist she gasps. I try not to act surprised. Alis doesn’t really ask about the tattoo she already knows what it means. Its a clear indicator of which court I belong to and the thought makes me smile.  
“Alis need your help.” I look down at my hands trying to think of a better way to say it but I don’t. “I’m pregnant.”  
Alis always one step ahead. Comes to conclusions on her own.  
“It’s not Tamlin’s is it?”Not really a question. I try to read her expression before I nod.  
“It’s Rhys’” I confirm. “That would mean that I am about eight weeks along.”  
She only nods. “There is a rumor that you two were mates. That Hybern broke the bond.  
“We are mates.” I smile, “but to me he is more than that he is my equal in every way my best friend and I love him. I am his High lady.”  
“What about Hybern?” Alis asks  
“Hybern can’t brake a mating bond. Nobody is that powerful.” I reply. “After Rhys and I were separated the bond was damaged, I haven’t been able to keep in contact as much as I would have liked.”  
“What are you going to do? Will you tell Rhysand about the baby?” She asks.  
“Yes, I’ve already made plans to meet with him at the edge of the spring court tonight.” I say. “I’ll need you to cover for me.”  
Alis nods “I can do that.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Don’t you love how original my chapter titles are? Also serious Rhysand fluff in this chapter. (I think)

Alis helps me prepare for the rendezvous by helping me sneak a few letters of Tamlin’s from Hybern about the attack on the night court. I don’t know how she managed to find them, but the fact that she has helped me so much has been a little bizarre. Maybe she senses the shift of the wind, knowing that things have and will change for the spring court and she has made the decision to leave it behind.  
With her help I am able to slip out of the manor undetected through the servants quarters in the basement of the manor. Alis seemed to know things about the manor that I could not have even imagined and her help was absolutely invaluable to me.  
After a short winnow I make it to the spot where Rhysand and I were supposed to meet. I had sent him an image of the spot down the bond so that he would be able to easily winnow here on his own.  
I stare out at the nigh sky. The stars are beautiful but they don’t shine as brightly as they do in Velaris. I feel the shadows deepen before I’d see the darkness of the night grow darker still. I smile when my mate steps out of the darkness his eyes still shine visibly and he is holding a picnic basket, which seems like an odd item for our midnight rendezvous. I can’t help but laugh with joy as I leap into his arms and he nearly drops the basket.  
He sets the basket down and pulls me close. It feels so perfect to be in his arms again his warmth and his pulse radiates through my body. When our lips finally touch I feel whole again, something I hadn’t felt in weeks and I let my body melt in Rhysand’s arms.  
“Feyre,” he whispers “By the cauldron I’ve missed you” he continues as he runs his lips along my jaw to my mouth.  
His lips set my mind and body ablaze and for a moment I let myself. Forget the world and its woes and let myself imagine that it was only the two of us. Nothing else vying for our attention, no Hybern and no Tamlin.  
The kiss becomes more urgent and desperate as he wraps his arms around me griping my hips and bringing me close to him so that my body rests against his and I relax in his embrace. I move my hands to his hairline and I start running my hands through his raven locks and tugging at the strands as my own desperation threatens to overwhelm me. As if there would never be enough time to spend in his arms.  
The urge to take him right there in that small clearing is almost consuming but it would be too risky, if the spring court scented the bond between us it would all be over, so I pull away which was perhaps the greatest feat of self control that i had ever had to endure.  
Rhys groans in disappointment. “Reality is never what we want it to be.” He whines  
“Rhys this is serious.” I say but it doesn’t seem very serious especially since seeing him only makes me smile.  
He pulls back from our embrace so that he can see me properly and he lets his eyes roam over my body, drinking me in but also making sure I was unharmed. I let him look and I take a moment to enjoy the sight of him. He stands there so tall and beautiful and I thank whatever god or cauldron made him mine.  
“Like what you see?” He purrs into my ear pulling me close again.  
“Prick,” I say rolling my eyes at him. “This is important or I wouldn’t have asked you to come all this way.”  
He huffs then gives me a wicked grin. “I know, That’s why I brought only the strong stuff,” he replies, holding up a bottle of strong liqueur.  
He lays our a blanket and we sit down in the soft grass. I scoot in close to him while he uncorks the bottle of wine and starts to pour a glass and hands it to me. I promptly refuse. Which only makes him look at me with a confused, concerned glance.  
“Feyre, are you alright you have never been one to turn down a drink.” He says taking a swig from the glass.  
“I’m fine, I really shouldn’t have any alcohol right now.”  
Though in reality now seemed like an optimal moment for a drink just to take of the edge. Now seems as good of a time as ever to tell him, however, I debate on what to tell him first. Do I spill the beans on my pregnancy and trust that we will be able to focus on the real reason for our meeting, the attack or do I tell him about the attack and wait to tell him I’m baring his child? Either way both of us will be distracted for some reason I figure it is best to get the bigger thing out of the way first.  
I take a moment to summon my courage, not that I was afraid to tell my mate about the pregnancy I already knew how he would react. It’s just that if I tell him then I have to let go of that tiny part of me that is still in denial about it all.  
“Rhys, I’m pregnant.” The words feel like they are being shoved out of my own mouth against my will.  
Rhys chokes on the wine, spewing it out of his mouth and nose and he begins coughing uncontrollably. His eyes are wide as they trail down to my stomach as if he could see something already.  
Tears begin to swell in his eyes with emotion or the liqueur I wasn’t sure. The fact that I had caught Rhys so off guard was probably the highlight though. I could hold this memory over him for centuries. `  
“Feyre, “he gasps, “are you sure?” He asks fear and hope swirling in the depths of his violet eyes.  
I smile, but I also playfully slap his arm. “Of course I’m sure!” I scoff at him.  
Rhys pulls me close so that I am practically on his lap and I bury my my head in his shoulder and he buries his face in my hair. His chest is heaving, taking in great breaths as he attempts to calm the fear and whatever primal instinct that this might bring along with it. The darkness around us deepens as I can feel my mate fighting to keep his own power under control. I let my own darkness join his. It was the soothing kind that brings peace of mind and rest. I know that I have to be patient with him as he absorbs the full meaning of this.  
For me though Rhys was my safe place I could be honest about my fears and let them rest when I was with him. He was my place of refuge. It takes a moment for him to regain his lost composure, but when he does his face, his eyes, his smile it is brimming with joy. I cant help but laugh at the stupid grin on Rhys’ face. But the moment of joy is short as the reality of the situation hits me and I let out a heaving sob.  
“What do we do Rhys, how are we going to protect the baby from Hybern or Tamlin?” I choke out before I can start to ramble.  
“Well what do you want to do?” Rhys inquired softly as he starts to kiss away my tears.  
“I want to keep the baby” I say that part had seemed obvious to me. Despite not knowing anything about being a mother or even having a good mother. “I know that at least. I just have no idea what I’m doing and the fact that I am currently a resident of the spring court throws a major wrench in any plans to build a nursery for the moment.” I admit  
“Then come home.” He begs me tenderly “please for my sanity. I would like some assurance that my mate and child are safe.”  
I knew that if it really came down to it he would let me choose no matter what , even if it’s killed him, but this was about so much more than me.  
“Rhys, I can’t come home yet, because despite what you may think this is not why I wanted to meet with you tonight,” I admit.  
Rhysand looks at me with a concerned glance, “okay,” he breaths straightening up into a sitting positions and taking another swig of wine.  
His posture all business. I found it amusing how he would switch personas changing his mask from mate to high lord.  
“Rhys, Tamlin is planning on an attack on the night court. At the very least he wants to get to my sisters. Normally I wouldn’t be so worried except with the attack that was just on Velaris and the fact that Hybern plans to use a supply of Bloodbane.” I state  
Rhys turns pale. It wouldn’t be hard to guess why. The last time Hybern had nearly killed him. This time I wouldn’t be there to provide the cure, but I had planned ahead knowing that I wont be there.  
“So what would you suggest we do?” He asks. It felt nice to be apart of his council with on equal grounds with him. Something that Tamlin had always failed to do.  
“Make sure that all the soldiers are fully armored with long shields and I figured that I wouldn’t be there, I brought this” I pull out a jar with about one pint of blood that I had drained earlier that was frozen solid.  
“Feyre!” Rhys nearly shouts, panic and shock very evident in his voice. “You can’t do that! You’ll hurt yourself or worse the baby!”  
I knew this would be his reaction and I cant help but feel a little defensive. In a way I knew he was right but if my blood is the only cure for the Bloodbane then I would do what was necessary to protect my family.  
“I know, I was careful, believe me I debated long and hard about it before I did it. This way if anyone is injured then they stand a chance at surviving.” I insist. “I want to build our future but our first priority is to the family and the court that we have now, but if it makes you feel better I wont pull another stunt like this until we have talked about it first. I want to have this child, to be a mother no matter what others motivations there might be.”

Rhys lets out a audible sigh of relief. “ As long as you are sure this is what you want then I am happy.”he pauses,“but know that whatever you choose I will be there every step, every day.”  
“Rhys I want you to know that even though the timing feels really bad I can’t wait to have this family with you.”  
My mate smiles at me this time as tears well in my eyes. I pull my mate close and bury my head in the crook of his neck. I knew that he would always give me a choice I was just sad that I had scared him so badly. I look up into Rhysand’s eyes and this time its Rhys’ turn to cry as he lays his hand on my flat stomach and wraps his arm around me and rests it on my thigh.  
I rest my hand on his hand, and I feel his warmth that seems to seep into my bones and his scent, the citrus and ocean but something else now its faint but i know its my own scent intertwined with his.  
He holds me close breathing in my scent, I know it’s because he is afraid of when I have to go that despite the fact that my ultimate desire is to be at home in Velaris with him.  
“Come home, don’t go back, it was already torture being apart from you. Now, I don’t think I could let you go.” Rhys admits with a shaky breath.  
The though makes me feel heavy I don’t want to go back. I don’t care about revenge. There are more important things like my family, our baby. I have something that Tamlin will never have, the love and loyalty of true friends and a mate and that would be punishment enough. If I stayed much longer I would I only put myself in danger of being discovered but that doesn’t mean that I couldn’t make one hell of an exit.  
“Rhys, I cant stay much longer anyway, but there are a few things that I need to do. Tamlin is planning the attack on the night court if I can get any more information it could mean the difference between victory and defeat. I have Alis to help me who has so far been an invaluable ally. Not to mention there are a few loose ends that I need to tie up before I come home.” I explain, though I know that I am still being vague.  
There’s a pause before Rhys says anything “be careful, if something happened to you I would never forgive myself.”  
“Rhys, I’ll be careful” I reassure him. “ If I can just prevent this attack from hurting our people that would be enough. Besides I need to make one hell of an exit. One that would be befitting of the night court.” The thought of it makes me grin wickedly.  
“What did you have in mind?” He smirks an evil glint in his violet eye’s.  
“Well, what I do know is that I am going to need a dress some thing that says high lady of the night court.”  
“That’s such a shame, I always thought that your best look was in my bed.” He growls in a low tone. I know he is just searching for a reaction.  
“Prick,” I say. rolling my eyes at him and sticking my young out at him.  
Rhys can’t help but chuckle “Put your tongue back in your mouth unless you plan on using it.” He purrs as he shamelessly begins to fondle a spot on my neck with his tongue. I feel my body go loose and heat begin to pool in the pit of my stomach. It had been to long since he had last held me.  
I loose my thoughts as Rhys begins to trail his lips down my neck placing light kisses on my jaw and I let my self be wrapped up in the feeling of his lips on my skin as he caresses a sensitive spot on my shoulder with his teeth. I let out a groan and I shift so that there is no longer any space between us. His breathing gets heavier as he begins to whisper in my ear.  
“I don’t think that I could have ever had so much, Velaris, my family, my brilliant mate who outshines the stars, and our child.” His voice is so low and is husky from emotion. He lays me down into the grass and continues to let his hands roam griping my hips as he moves his mouth from my shoulder to my neck and finally my lips. He makes sweeping movements in my mouth with his tongue. The pool of heat in my stomach grows and I can’t help but let a moan escape my lips as his hand finds its way under my skirt and makes itself comfortable between my legs.  
I don’t want this moment to end our time together, but my own caution tells me to stop before this goes too far.  
“Rhys, we can’t. Not yet” I breath. “When I get home for real you have permission to keep me in our bedroom for an entire day”  
Rhys lets out a disgruntled groan. “ I know, I suppose I will just have to suffer until then”  
“I’m sure that you will find a way to stay busy and distracted,” I chuckle  
I can feel my mates mind wander as he looks into my eyes.  
“A thought for a thought?” I suggest.  
Rhys nods and lays down on the grass next to me and I snuggle close as he wraps his arms around me and I snuggle close and rest my head on his chest.  
“I’m just worried about you” he admits “and I’m wondering about how or if I should tell the others.”  
I nod I know were he is coming from, his family is everything and it had to be almost impossible to not panic over everything and not be able to share it. I had Alis that could help me and Rhys would want to tell someone.  
“Rhys I will be back in the night court by the end of the week after Tamlin’s attack, but I think that we should keep this a secret as much as possible until then especially if anyone is captured.” I admit. Though the thought may seem a bit dark. The thought of our friends tortured for information about us. “But if you feel like it is necessary to tell everyone I understand. I would like to be there for the announcement, but maybe you can tell one person, the person who will react the least.” I suggest.  
Looks at me “your right, if I do tell anyone it will probably be Azriel, that way if need be he can keep an extra eye on the spring court and you. If your okay with that?” He asks looking a little sheepish.  
I nod it would be nice to know that if anything did happen at least Azriel would be there to help if need be and I could trust him to maintain a safe distance and not get caught.  
“So how about you?” Rhys asks “what is going on in that pretty head of yours?”  
“Honestly, I’m thinking of how I could get more information on that attack so that the night court will be safe and I can come home” I admit. Despite Alis’ help I had no clue of how I was going to get into Tamlin’s office.  
Rhys snorts, “typical my selfless brilliant mate is thinking about her court, despite the fact that now would be the perfect opportunity to be selfish, while I selfishly bemoan her absence and worry. What did I ever do to deserve such a woman.” He says bringing his lips to mine “The smartest thing I’ve ever done is make her my high lady. I am certain you will be able to figure it out” he smiles. “The information you have already provided will save so many lives.”  
“Rhys your the best man I’ve ever known. Your mine and I am yours, and nothing could ever change that” I blush.  
He brings me close “I know, I’m not ready to let go of you yet”  
“Then don’t, just hold me” I say. And he doesn’t let go of me until morning.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay hear me out Azriel is one of my favorite characters and definitely deserves someone amazing which to me isn’t Elaine. Comment on your thoughts of what you think SJM should do with him.

I hear the melody of the piano before I see it. The song seems to dance across the air filling it with emotion, but there was something else there too a harmony low and and soft. I knew the harmony all too well I would hear the same notes in the shadows. The music holds a secret one that would not be easily shared. The notes contained the fear and the hope of the future wrapped up in the beauty of the harmony. A song that was never front and center but turned the simple melody into a grand concerto.  
Before I get a chance to listen any further to see if I could decipher its message, Rhys notices me leaning against the doorway. He doesn’t turn to face me directly, but I know that he knows I am here.  
“How was your rendezvous with Feyre?” I ask. Its a simple question depending on how he answers I can fish for more information.  
He pauses not looking at me, “it was good, she had some information on an attack that the spring court is planning.” I could tell it wasn’t an out right lie, though I had my own suspicions on what the meeting was actually about. I could spend my time beating around the bush but I figured a more direct question would probably get me farther then anything else. If he wanted to tell me he would.  
“Is Feyre okay? Some of my spring court informants told me that Feyre had fallen ill, they had to call for a healer”  
Rhys went still. He didn’t look at me, “did you hear anything else?” He asked carefully.  
“No, it didn’t seem like a big deal though, there are rumors flying about that she was poisoned by the night court”  
“Thats the biggest load of shit I’ve ever heard” Rhys snorted.  
“Did feyre tell you what happened?” I press noticing that Rhysand was still deliberately avoiding giving me a straight answer.  
Rhys pauses for a moment as if deciding something, “promise me you wont say anything, not to Mor, you can’t tell Cassian, and definitely not Amren. Swear it” he says his voice deathly serious.  
I look at Rhys something is different I don’t know what. Whatever he wanted to tell me scared him to death in the very least, but I can’t think of a reason why I wouldn’t keep whatever secret he has, we had already been through so much together that we trusted each other with our life’s. Apparently whatever secret he had he consider more important than his life (which for Rhys wasn’t that shocking, but I sensed that this secret was more important to him than even Velaris. I felt honored he would trust me with this “I swear it on my life high lord.”  
He relaxes a small bit though his shoulders are still tense.  
He rubs his face with his hands, “normally I wouldn’t keep things a secret, but considering how are enemies could use this information would be detrimental, so I figured you were the best person to tell.”  
“Come on Rhys enough with the riddles and spit it out already.” I say hoping to finally push him towards saying something.  
Rhys seems to have a final internal war with himself to say what he wants to tell me. It must be something very important. It makes me wish I had his skill to be able to peak into the minds of others. It would make my job much easier.  
“Feyre wasn’t sick, at least not in the traditional sense, she is pregnant”  
I feel like I’ve been punched in the gut, Feyre was basically a little sister to me, and after the bomb Rhys had dropped on us about him making her the high lady I was getting a little tired of the secrets that these two kept, but its not like there was any way to tell Rhys that. Especially since he would probably be aggressive about anyone being near Feyre for the next seven months. He is probably already beside himself with worry.  
“Shit, Rhys. I mean thats great! Is it yours?” I say, though when the words come out of my mouth I instantly regret it.  
“Of course its mine, ass hat Feyre wouldn’t let Tamlin anywhere near her.” Rhys grumbles and I get the feeling that he is holding himself back from smacking me upside the head.  
“Wait, so what is Feyre still doing in the spring court? If anyone found out they would kill her.”  
Rhys slumps, obviously he knows the risks, Feyre is his mate. He looks at me, the look in his eyes shows a breaking man.I knew that he had struggled being torn from Feyre initially, now though you could see the cracks in his usually flawless facade.  
Rhys takes a deep breath as if speaking took an abnormal amount of energy and he ran his had through his hair nervously, before saying, “I know, but Feyre insisted. She figured that she would be able to get more information on the attack and then come home hopefully within the next week before anyone notices.”  
The distraught look on his face says everything. He may not have let feyre see how worried he really is but he was panicking.  
“Rhys let me keep an extra eye and ear on the spring court, I’ll keep an eye on Feyre and I will see if I can gather any information on my own.”  
He nods but he isn’t really listening to me anymore, his mind is somewhere else and I had a feeling it wasn’t even in the night court.  
“What do you think about it all?” I inquire hoping that Rhys would open up to me.”  
He looks at me there were tears in his eyes.  
“Honestly” Rhys says, his voice low and shaky, “I’m terrified on so many levels, and yet there’s this hope that I hold onto that I won’t be like my father, that despite everything we will get through this war in one piece. It scares me that I have never even met my child and my desire to love and protect him is almost overwhelming. I didn’t think it was possible to fall in love so fast, and yet I should have known better, I loved Feyre before I had even met her. I sometimes think that we should have been more cautious. Maybe, Feyre wouldn’t have gotten knocked up. Sometimes I forget how young Feyre really is and if I ever gave her a fair enough chance to choose a different path for her life. I’m still just the beast who robbed Feyre of her youth.”  
I can only blink, I didn’t know what to say. So I grab a bottle of liquor from the bar and hand Rhys a glass. I was familiar with Rhys’ brooding moods and the only person as far as I knew who had the ability to pull Rhys out of his funks was Feyre.  
“You take too much credit, Rhys, this war is happening not because of anything you did. Feyre is young but she can kick both our asses any day. You didn’t persuade her to do anything, and she wouldn’t do anything she wasn’t absolutely certain about. That’s what I like about her.” Rhys starts to relax a little at the last sentence so I keep talking even though pep talks weren’t really my area of expertise usually I let Mor or Cassian do the talking.“ you will never be anything like your father, your 10 times the man and high lord he was, and you will get through this war, with your family. We’ve got your back.”  
Rhys finishes his drink and looks at me. “It would be different if she was here and not off risking her life in the spring court” he admitted. “If you could keep a close eye on the spring court so that if there is the slightest rumor we could get her out as fast as possible.”  
“ Rhys, you already know that I will personally monitor the spring court and the fact that I hadn’t suspected anything is a good sign.” I confirm.  
“Thanks,” Rhys stands up and brushes off his immaculate jacket a small but obvious tell to those who know him best. A smug way to give himself time to think as he recomposes himself. Placing on the mask of a high lord and his entire demeanor changes.  
“Send for Mor, Cassian, and Amren we need to figure out how fortify Velaris and the night court to be able to with stand an attack from the spring court with aid from Hybern and his supply of bloodbane. Feyre sent the numbers of soldiers the spring court plans to send plus there is a possibility of Tamlin leading the attack himself which is absolutely foolish of him, but if he does I want to fight him myself. It will be an easy victory that will send Tamlin back to his own court with his tail between his legs.”  
“How will we go against the bloodbane there aren’t many cures, except for you know...”  
“Feyre,” Rhys cringes. “thought of that part as well. She seems to have a nasty habit of putting the well-being of others before herself and provided a jar of her cure.” he says bitterly holding up a frozen jar of blood.  
Though it may seem brutal Feyre was right, fighting Hybern’s troops without any cure could be devastating, now though,I can’t help but smile this battle would be too easy with Feyre feeding us all of the information that we may need. We will have no problem beating the spring court into a pulp and make every other court think twice about taking up arms against us.  
As a final thought I turn to Rhys, “ don’t let the circumstances weigh you down. Just remember what all this is for. Our family and the joy we have. If we forget that then Hybern will win.”  
Rhys nodded and a smile crosses his face as if realizing something for the first time as if some joyous revelation had hit him upside the head and it was about time too.  
“ I am a dad,” he chokes out grinning from ear to ear “ I’ll get to teach my child to fly.” He says flexing his wings.  
I nod, “yes and you and Feyre will teach it to dream”  
And with that the light returns back to his eyes,

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments please!


	5. Chapter 5

The morning was rather slow after being with my mate most of the night I decided to catch a few hours of sleep. Nobody disturbed me, Alis had made some excuse for me that I was still under the weather and just needed more rest. With the morning sickness that I was experiencing it wasn’t very far from the truth.  
By the time lunch rolled around I was feeling better than I had in months. A combination of enough sleep and a little Rhys went a long way. This would be one of the last days I was here before I could return home and the world could be in its right order again. All I had to do was play the part of the damsel in distress in need of saving a for a few more days and get the remaining information specific to the attack then I was free.  
Part of me wondered if I played my cards right if I could have everything I needed before late afternoon and make my exit before supper, just in time for family dinner in Velaris, but I didn't want to get my hopes up.  
When I joined Tamlin and Lucien for lunch they were busy pouring over maps of what looked like the boarders of the Night Court and specifically the Court of Nightmares. They looked up at me, Tamlin scanned me from head to toe trying to assess my condition. I struggled not to fight nervously under his scrutinizing gaze. I nervously hope that there wasn’t a way for him to tell that I was pregnant. He doesn’t seem to find anything wrong and he seems a little bit less tense when he stands up and pulls out a chair across from him so I can sit down.  
“Glad to see you are feeling better, I am sorry that I couldn’t be there when the healer came yesterday. Unfortunately Hybern’s troops sailed in yesterday afternoon and I was obligated to meet them at the docks in order to welcome them.” He apologizes though we are so far past apologies now.  
I simply nod and fill my plate to the brim, because now that the morning sickness had subsided I was famished. I was eating for two now.  
I casually listen as Lucien and Tam discuss leading the attack on night court from the eastern sea arguing that while it may not be the most direct route the forests and terrain provided plenty of cover and was perfect against the Illyrian legions not to mention was one of the least like routes to predict.  
“All I am saying is we still have no idea where Rhysand is holding Feyre’s sisters we should at least wait until one of the Night court informants has that information otherwise finding them will be like searching for a needle in a haystack.” Argues Lucian.  
“Feyre said that he would keep the sisters close to the Court of Nightmares as an insurance policy,” Tamlin replies, relying sole on the information that I was feeding him.  
While they were discussing strategy my day was just getting better and better. I open my mind to Rhysand, giving him a direct ear to the conversation, because of this he feels exactly when a white flash of pain and panic flash across my mind as I feel a sharp cramping in my abdomen.  
I keel over griping myself as the smell of blood fills my nostrils. I try to choke down my tears, I should have known that this would have happened. The devastation of realizing I was loosing my child took hold and I could not contain the heaping sobs brought on by the pain and grief. I didn't care what anyone thought for all I knew, the world was crumbling around me and I was so very far away from home.  
I could feel Rhys on the other side of our bond trying frantically to communicate with me. For the first time since I started using my powers I didn’t have the strength to even want to push him out, because right now I needed him.  
Rhys seems to sense my need for him and he sends me the music of Velaris as a temporary way to let me know he knew. That he would do anything to get to me.  
“ _I’ll be there in just a moment, I’m coming.”_ He says down the bond.  
 _“No, I’ll be okay. If you come you’ll just loose me again.”_ I say desperately though in all reality I knew that my job was mostly done and that now would be though a little inconvenient it might work none the less.  
 _“Feyre, I would loose you a thousand times if it meant that I could find my way back to you even for just a moment._ ”  
I can only nod as another wave of pain washes over me.  
“ _Alright_ ” I concede I knew that while I could tell him to stay at bay it would be fair and we were already in loads of shit anyways, “ _come, just be preprepared to take on Tamlin, I doubt he wouldn’t sense your arrival.”_  
 _“Darling I have waited centuries to take him on, believe me when I say I am very prepared.”_ I can’t help but smile just a little bit.  
I turn my attention back to the room, they don’t seem to notice my conversation, but it doesn’t take a genius to figure out that something is terribly wrong and even Tamlin shouts for a sentry to go and retrieve the healer. Tamlin reaches my side and scoops me up as if I weighed no more than a doll. A year ago I would have marveled at that strength and the feel of his arms around me, anywhere his skin touched mine only made me itch.  
He deposited me in my bed while Alis bustled in closing all of the curtains, shifting the room into a cool comforting darkness.  
Alis to her credit turns to Tamlin and tells him to leave, informing him that his presence would only make things worse for me. He just about explodes with anger at being told what to do, but the healers prompt arrival interrupts his temper tantrum.  
When the healer also asks Tamlin to leave he seems to get the memo and walks out closing the door behind him. Though I can hear him talking to Lucien and pacing on the other side of the door before he leaves.  
Alis helps me out of the too tight spring court dress and into a long nightgown. There is blood on the dress and Alis just throws the dress in the fire. The healer begins to pull out ingredients from her black bag and begins to grind the herbs together while muttering an incantation that must be a spell of some sorts.  
I let out another groan as the cramping intensifies, as the pain threatens to overwhelm me the remaining light in the room begins to fade as the swirls of darkens gets thicker. This time there is no flash of lightning no sound before Rhysand appears with Azriel at his side.  
The healer, is the first to react as she nearly drops the bowl of herbs that she had been grinding she looks absolutely terrified, and the initial shock is enough to render her momentarily speechless. Azriel quietly places himself behind her and places his hand over her mouth to muffle her initial scream.  
Alis looks briefly startled, but out of habit makes sure the door is locked. As if that would really keep Tamlin at bay while Rhysand goes about setting wards while Azriel in perfect synch with Rhysand takes his position guarding the door.  
Azriel stands by the door in his full Illyrian leathers and gives me a slight nod in greeting because well now doesn’t seem like the best time to catch up. While Rhysand to my surprise is dressed down in a simple white tunic and black leather pants and boots. The outfit was so at odds with the usual persona that he usually chose to portray.  
Once Rhysand has set up wards he rushes to my side cradling me in his arms and wiping sweat from my forehead with a cool rag that Alis had handed him. I lean my head back into his shoulder and neck as the cramping intensifies. His own heart is beating wildly. I look up and see tears and heartbreak in his face that reflects my own, and while he didn’t know the physical pain that I was going in through I knew that this killed him as much as it killed me. I knew in his eyes that he had allowed himself to believe that it would all work out just like I had told him it would and that guilt made the pain of it all even worse. Not only could i not keep out baby safe, but I had hurt Rhys in the process. I could hardly bare it.  
Once the healer has calmed down sufficiently she finishes preparing the concoction and flustered lay hands it to Rhysand who simply roles his eyes and takes the tonic from the healer and offers it to me. Though he, being the overprotective Illyrian male that he is doesn’t hand it over without sniffing it first.  
“Thank you,” he says to Sylvia. “I appreciate you taking care of my mate” he says now speaking to Alis who had made herself as scarce as possible in the corner of the room.  
The banging on the door alerted us that our time of Rhysand going unnoticed was gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Make sure to comment.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Personally I like lucian a lot but he has to be pushed into action. Originally this chapter was very different I hope you like it I do not own these characters or settings.

Now was not the time for tears. I look at Rhys, I can see his violet eyes widen and hands tremble not at the thought of facing Tamlin but at the thought at having to leave me. I loved Rhysand for so many reasons but maybe the reason I love him the most was that he never sought to change me and my decisions. His breath matches mine but he looks at me, asking for permission to stay by my side but my fight isn’t over yet. He would have his chance, but first I needed to break Tamlin’s heart like he had broken mine then together my mate and I would break the will of the high lord of the spring court and we would watch him burn and his awful pink and green court go up in smoke. 

“Go, you need to leave,” I whisper. There wasn’t a lot of time left before Tamlin came barging in. This one time though I wanted to confront him on my own. 

“But...” Rhys is about to argue but he stops mid sentence when he can see that there was no chance that he would be able to sway me. I look at the door as if there was any way to tell how much time that we had left. The bang on the door increases

“Rhysand I swear if you lay a finger on her I will not hesitate to end this madness.” Tamlin roars. Rhysand lets out a gutter all growl. I knew my mate had to be fighting some crazy male instinct as I could feel the bond thrum between us. It urged the both of us to cling tighter to one another, to protect each other. 

Rhysand to his credit knows he only has to be the bigger man for a few moments longer and doesn’t respond. He is letting me take the lead on this misadventure. Despite his instincts driving him in the opposite direction. He kisses my sweaty forehead in order to reassure himself that I would be okay. 

“Please,” he begs me,”don’t do this let me take you home. You being here has already cost us too much.” His hand clutch mine in a firm but gentle grip, I run my thumbs over the tops of his knuckles in an attempt to try to reassure him that I would be alright. 

“No Rhys this fight is mine, I’ll meet you in the throne room in a few minutes.” I promise, “we will leave this cauldron forsaken court together.”

He pulls me close again. He lifts my chin up so that my lips meet his. His lips are hot, almost feverish and so intense that for a moment I forget where I am. He pulls away from me and gulps heavily as if trying to hold back an emotion or words, but I knew I could feel every emotion that he felt across the bond. He only nods and clutches my hand one more time before disappearing. I can still feel the ghost of his hands holding me.

I turn in the bed to look at the healer, who was still awfully pale, though her skin tone was probably nothing compared to mine. She checks to see if the bleeding has stop which fortunately it has. I knew that the dawn court powers probably helped in a speedy recover, but they could heal the cracks that were forming in my heart. 

There were still a few loose ends to this, unfortunately Sylvia was one of them. While I was grateful for her help the consequences of her knowing of Rhysand’s visit were detrimental and I could not trust her to keep this a secret. That left me with two options, kill her which was a last resort option or take her memories of the encounter.

I reach into the mind of Sylvia the fact that Rhysand was gone was obviously a relief to her. Though what she didn’t understand along with the rest of Pythian was that the worst monster was the one banging on the door. the fear clouded her mind, made it easy to slip in unnoticed and pluck the last few minutes from her memory only leaving the knowledge of my miscarriage. Her face goes slack for a moment before grief crosses her face. 

“I am so sorry milady shall I let the high lord in,” I nod but while the healer moves to open the door I move myself to a chair by the window. 

Alis opens the window and curtains letting in the breeze and puts a soft shawl around my shoulders. It was a new sort of armor. It wasn’t that the blanket necessary though in some small way it did provide a little comfort. It was the gesture that mattered. I knew that Alis would want to leave soon so that she can take care of her boys and get out of the spring court and into the summer court in time.

Alis had been my only friend in the spring court and the only one I felt guilt about leaving behind. She had been an ally and a close confidant in some of my hardest moments and I wished that there was more that I could do for her. I take Alis’ hand and look up at her. “You should go now get your boys and leave this court.”

She nods “make sure to take care of yourself,” she says and stands by the door waiting to slip out.

As much as I hated the sent of the roses I feeling of the wind on my face was a blessed relief. It was a small reminder of what it felt like to be free. I take down the wards protecting the room and the healer opens the door. Sylvia offers quiet condolences to Tamlin as she and Alis slip out sighlently. Tamlin stands there for a moment in shock and confusion.

“There’s no Rhysand. Just me.” I state blankly

He sniffs the air like a wolf and growls at the scent of blood and Rhys even if it is now muted with him gone. 

“Feyre,” he growls at me. “What. Happened?” He comes to my side and to my shock kneels beside the chair so that we are face to face. Lucian leans at the doorway eying me warily, but he doesn’t come any closer.

“Rhysand isn’t here,” I repeat though this time there was a layer of Steele in my voice 

“Then why do I smell blood?” He huffs barely concealing his rage. 

There was no point in hiding the truth not anymore, My mate and I would return home and face whatever consequence come from today. Besides I was done with the lies.

“Because, I had a miscarriage.” I say as if my heart wasn’t as shattered as it felt and saying it out loud only made the horror of it all more real. 

Tamlin’s eyes widened from shock to pure terror.

“How long have you known?” He spats. “Why didn’t you tell me? We could have fixed this.” 

I look at him and stand up from my chair. Just so I can look down at him. The ice in my veins making itself manifest as the chair and the windowsill start to gather frost and the temperature of the entire room drops. Suddenly I am now very grateful for the shawl around my shoulders. The fact that I had held all my magic and emotions at bay for the last two months left me in a very vulnerable position to explode.

“Is that what you think that all this is?” I ask my voice rising. “Another thing about me to fix.”

“Feyre, please all I wanted was to protect you.” He says taking my hand. His grasps nearly leaving bruises on my skin.

I pull my hand away from him. “Well,” I fume, “Did it ever occur to you that I was never yours to protect?” I was done with hiding and the lies.

In that moment I wanted to make his decision of taking me away from my mate one of the worst decisions he would ever make. I fully intend to live up to my promise to destroy you and your court. 

“Feyre,” Tamlin pleads, “don’t let him control your mind. I know you and this isn’t who you are. Your mine and I love you.” His breath is heavy as if this conversation was draining. 

“Unlike some I do not cower before or behind Rhysand. He is my mate and equal and does not even have the ability to even enter my mind unless I wish it.” 

I reach out with ebony claw and run them along the outskirts of his mind. Just to a point. I grasp his weak mind in my claw and begin to crush it between my fingers. Tamlin’s mouth hung open like a fish gasping for breath. He is unable to move or speak as his face contorts from fear and pain. “When will you see that I stopped loving you a long time ago and that I’m no longer the girl you used to know, I am so much more and you never took the time or care to learn.”

I know that I am practically monologuing but I continue, “You are singularly responsible for taking everything from me. You stole me from my sisters, you took me from my family and my court.” I yell. Though I was unsure if he had understood me at that point. So tight was my grip on my mind.

I let go of his mind and he crumples to the floor. Lucian stands there for a moment unsure of whether or not he should help Tamlin. I stare at Tamlin, until he woke up I had no idea how badly he was injured. For all I knew I had turned him into a vegetable.

“Now the time is coming for you to decide who’s side you are on,” I turn to Lucien.

His mouth is set in a firm line and remains expressionless. He looks at me warily examining me with his gold eye as it whirls and clicks. I realize that under such scrutiny that should be embarrassed at being clothed in only a flimsy night gown but at this point there was no purpose to changing. “Is this really what you want, to surrender to Hybern before the war has even started.”

“I do not intend to surrender to Hybern anytime soon.” He snarls.

My shoulders relax at least Lucian knew the dangers of siding with Hybern. “You have been one of my first friends and I would never forbid you from trying to at least meet Elain, however the longer you choose to stand by Tamlin the less of a chance she will give you.”

He looks at me squarely in the eye ignoring the groan that comes from Tamlin. “I knew you were pregnant, I could see that.” He says taping his gold eye. “I knew that there was no way that hybern could have destroyed the mating bond, and that tattoo on your right hand that you have been hiding for the last little while. I know about that too. Lets not forget that Rhysand is waiting for you in the throne room.”

I can help but smile. Clever little Lucian. “So, why didn't you say anything to Tamlin.” 

Lucian shrugs and puts his hand in his pocket “I wanted to see what you were planning on doing.”

I role my eyes at him “please,” I scoff.“Your top priority would be to get to Elain and you knew that your chances of getting to her would double if you cooperated.”

“True, but there is still one more thing that I know that you don’t”

I narrow my eyes at him, “what?” 

“I’ll tell you if you arrange an introduction to Elain” he’s says his eye shines brightly. He is grasping at straws. Lucian was nothing more than a desperate fae male. 

“Mating bond chaffing Lucian” I snort. 

“You have no idea what its like,” he glares at me. 

I Laugh though it contains no trace of humor. “I have been stolen from my mate for the last two months don’t tell me what I do and do not understand,” I say. Lucian to his credit has the decency to look ashamed.

Besides I say softly “That is not my decision to make. Its Elain’s, but I can put in a good word for you. 

Lucian nods “ fine” he growls. Then takes a weary breath. I wait for him to continue for this invaluable piece of information. “I have to say I am a little surprised at the incompetence of the healers.”

I narrow my eyes at him “what do you mean?”

“Feyre” he says gently as if not wanting to provoke slumbering beast and with tamlin still crumpled unconscious at our feet that may be true. “Your baby is fine as far as I can tell.” I nearly fall to my knees as a sob escapes “I swear to all the gods and cauldron if you are lying I will flay you alive. 

He chuckles, “you would have every right to. False hope is one of the worst punishments of all.”

“How about we get you to your mate, so that I can get to mine,” he says as he offers his hand. It seems symbolic somehow of our tentative truce. I take it and the world goes black.

**Author's Note:**

> Please be sure to leave any comments or critiques I always love learning ways to make my writing. Better. Plus I just live for hearing from readers.


End file.
